What I’ve Learned between age 29 and 30.

As I stand at the cusp of completing my 30th year alive, I thought about what I’ve discovered about myself and about life during the past year and tried to condense and compile it here.

This year was all about self-discovery, self-actualization, learning what’s good for me despite myself and what I do and don’t like.

Hustle — Every bit of luck I’ve seen others receive, and every bit of luck I’ve had myself has come at the behest of a relentless desire for it and recognition of the hard work needed to achieve it.

Live for your own happiness — No one is going to do this for you. For one thing it’s impossible, because no one is a mind reader and despite any and all good intention they won’t know what will really make you happy. You need to discover that for yourself and work tirelessly to achieve it. Its not selfish. By being happy you enable others around you to be happy too.

Learn to say “No” — You don’t have to always do everything that people want you to do. In fact when someone asks you if you want to do something its better that you wait a little bit and see if the initial excitement about the idea wears off and then decide if you really want to do it. In my experience you should wait the length of time it takes you to finish a beer. Or if you can drink like me… 4 beers. By no means avoid doing anything spontaneous, just make sure that those spontaneous ideas are yours. You’ll likely enjoy them better.

Eat oatmeal — Seriously. It doesn’t taste that great the consistency is like lumpy snot, but it does wonders for your health. If you are on a diet and it says you can’t eat oatmeal, then change your diet.

Seek the experience — Read a book, do some charity work, go someplace new, pick up a new hobby, strike up conversation with a stranger, do some research, throw out a new idea or build something. Everything you’d never done or experienced before helps you grow into a better person. Never be content to be part of the status quo.

Take a vacation by yourself — Its an odd feeling at first because you don’t know what to do, until you realize that you can do anything that you want without the approval or opposition of someone else. If you want to sleep late every day because you don’t get to do it for the other 51 weeks of the year… do it. To hell with what other people think.

Take ownership — Be the one who doesn’t shy away from responsibility. Be the one that people look at to be a leader and yes, sometimes to take the blame. Take the blame willingly and you instantly disarm the person blaming you. They have no choice to move on. Its said that it is easier to ask for forgiveness than permission, and its absolutely true. But in my experience, you really don’t have to do either very often.

Focus on the friends that matter — You know which ones they are because they are likely as close to you as family.

Have a goal — You need to be working towards something. Otherwise, you’re just doing something for the sake of doing it, living a life you never really wanted in the first place. Getting the goal is great and you can ride that sense of accomplishment pretty much as long as the recognition for it lasts. Then you find yourself settling back down and feeling lost from not having anything relevant to work towards. Always keep something BIG in mind to hustle for.

Stop with the duck-face already — For the ladies… it’s not attractive, at all. Please stop.

Drawing a Line in the Sand

I’m going to be 30 in two days.

A year ago when I turned 29, I didn’t think much about the prospect of turning 30. Now that the time until that day can be measured in a reasonable number of hours, it’s starting to dawn on me that time is passing by quickly and although I have had, and continue to have a good life, there is also a lot that I’ve squandered as well.

Most people I know that are in their 30’s have told me that their lives haven’t changed from when they were in their 20’s. I can understand that, because in all likelihood the day-to-day operations of their lives haven’t. They still get up and go to their jobs, they still hang out with friends a few times a week, spend time with their families, go on vacations, etc. But I don’t think that they ever came across any kind of moment when they felt like they had to define their lives in some other way, or that they reached a point where they realized that the status quo wasn’t good enough.

I’m at that point. I see the prospect of 30 as the beginning of a new chapter in my life. It’s not due to a change in lifestyle like a new job, a new relationship, a death in the family or anything like that. It’s simply where I’ve decided to draw the line in the sand and say that I’m not content to continue on doing what I’ve been doing and work to become a better man.

Maybe this is my true quarter-life crisis coming through. The previous episodes were just annoyances with the fact that life wasn’t going the way I wanted to or that I felt cheated upon for not being a millionaire by the time I was 27. Like most people I think that my expectations (and disappointments) in my life were brought on by the fact that those expectations were unrealistic, or that I didn’t understand fully what had to be done to achieve them. I like to think that’s not the case anymore.

I resurrected this blog to be my conduit on the progress I’m making in living a better life. It’s a place where I’m going to document my thoughts and experiences, endeavors and attributes on being the kind of man I would want to be, one that complains less and does more, that has the confidence to tackle any challenge head on and the skills and ability to see it through.

At the crossroads of 30, this is where my journey begins.