A Realization of Failure

“@jeremylyons I cannot believe you gave up blogging AGAIN!!!!”

That’s what my friend and fellow blogger Nicole shot me on twitter when I made that last post on this blog.
When I made that post, I felt that I had failed at keeping task with the fundamental reason I had for starting it in the first place, that I would chronicle on the web my endeavors in living a better life, being the best human being possible and living to my full potential.

Looking back however, I really only used it as a place to write vaguely and whimsically about loose topics and complain about how things weren’t going right for me with buying my house.
What I had failed to do, was execute on my original idea.

And an idea was all that it was. Ideas are not actionable things, they are conceptualized end-products. Plans are actionable, and when I went into starting the blog I had no plan for how I was actually going to do it, what I was going to write about and how it would be of any value to anyone, particularly to myself. It became precisely what I had hoped from the beginning to avoid… a diary.

This blog is not going to die because of my own incompetence and lack of follow-through. The point of it was to hold myself accountable on building a better life for myself and for those around me and it will be exactly that. I will work on this blog for expressly that reason. No excuses.

That being said, project (and priority) #1 is my health. Its something that I’ve been putting off for too long and something of paramount importance. At this point for me, improving my health and fitness isn’t even about vanity of physical appearance, its about the fact that I am unhealthy… that I’m at risk for a large number of weight related, long term health issues like heart disease, diabetes and cancer… and that I have become less active and mobile over the years since the last real time I was in good physical condition at the end of high school. I’ve done a lot of damage to my body from not eating right, drinking and partying too much and its taken its toll.

I can fix it though, this much I know. Others have done it… you see them all over television, the internet and in print, and I believe I can do it too. And why not? I’ve built my career thus far on fixing complex information systems, so surely I can fix my own body’s health and mind’s self-destructive tendencies, right?

And even in the off chance that I can’t, I have to at least try… I don’t have much of a choice otherwise.

(P.S. – The closing on my house is Monday (12/20). One less distraction on the road!)