Year in Review – 2010

It’s snowing like a motherf*cker outside, which means that I have time to write a post for this blog, and since it seems that with everything I have planned to do to get my house set up over the next week, this will likely be my last post of 2010. So what better way to ring in the new year with a retrospective on what happened in the previous? Can you think of one? I sure can’t…

• In 2010 I started enjoying my life and my money again. With the whole economic crackdown at the end of 2008 and through 2009, I thought it especially prudent during that time to straighten out my finances. When 2010 started, I had paid off $18,000 in credit card debt, accumulated $15,000 in savings and decided that I would buy a house by the end of the year (more on that in a bit). I also decided I wouldn’t compromise on doing things with my friends anymore when I realized that I could actually accomplish both of those things. At the beginning of the year I had planned to visit Yellowstone National Park and Grand Teton National Park over the summer, as well as go to Oktoberfest in Munich with my buddy Rick. I didn’t do any of those things.

• I went to see the St. Patrick’s Day parade and the ensuing shenanigans that comes with it in New York City, for the first time in my life, with my buddy Rick. A couple days later his wife left him. It wasn’t because of anything that happened on St. Paddy’s day, just happened about that same time. I would however spend the next 9 months on “Rick duty”, with a few other of our close friends, helping him through that endeavor. He came out of it a changed man, whether for better or worse as yet to be determined, but he did come out of it, and that counts for something.

• My Aunt Nancy died from cancer. I should say that like my father, she didn’t actually die OF cancer, but it was systemic of her demise. She had actually beaten cancer… twice. The first time was a few years ago when she overcame breast cancer and then shortly before she passed away she overcame Leukemia (per test results) to ultimately fall to an infection that her depleted immune system couldn’t handle. She was incredibly positive and light-hearted to the end. Her death also did something that she had been trying to do for the past several years of her life in bringing the entire extended family closer together. She was like a second mom to me… I miss her a lot.

• When I graduated from college, got a job, got a place of my own and discovered that there wasn’t a whole lot of the life milestones left for me to accomplish, I had a sort of breakdown. This was it? This was what I worked so hard for up to this point? Screw this man, I’m handing my adult card back in. Unfortunately that isn’t allowed, and when I turned 30 this year it wasn’t much better. Year 30 brought A LOT of introspection. Part of it resulted in me buying a house. Part of it has also resulted in me realizing that there is an upper limit on what joy you can derive from life on your own. Partly that led to a realization of real loneliness for the first time ever, but also that my family has become more important to me than ever. I’ve reconnected with my cousins and their kids, I can honestly say that my brother and my sister are my best friends. I’ve isolated myself from the chatter surrounding the people I know as well, making those people of good character, by my own judgement, my friends rather than listening to what others say about them. The end result of that is that the relationships I had with my existing friends were not negatively affected, and those relationships with my new friends have gained strength. I dare say that 2010, amidst the turmoil it encompassed, saw the first true development of my “tribe”, and 2011 serves to bring that tribe closer than ever before.

• I finished a large project over the summer. I literally had been working on this project for the past 3 years. In fact it was the reason that they hired me in the first place as a consultant and then later brought me on as a full time employee. For the record, I build Point of Sale systems for retailers. Its not the most glamorous job in I.T., and I’m surely not making any ground-breaking progress for the field of computer science, however it does give a great opportunity to create software and systems that are used by lots of people to do a lot of business. So with the help of a few vendors, and amidst a seemingly never ending supply of delays, my team of effectively 3 people where I was the technical lead built a system to run the business for around 840 stores and put it into those stores in less than a month. The business now runs its daily operations on it. It’s probably the largest project I’ve done, end-to-end in my career thus far, and I found a number of new and innovative ways to get the job done for the business, some that no one else has. I also learned that anything worth doing is worth doing well.

• I’ve read enormous amounts of literature this year. Mostly that is because I bought an Amazon Kindle. I won’t lie, I absolutely love this thing. Its true that the iPad is also a beautiful E-reader in its own right, along with all of the other completely awesome stuff it does, but the Kindle is far less expensive. Also, Amazon’s Kindle store is the shining example of what digital shopping should be… buy an E-book on Amazon or on the Kindle itself and its available online, on the Kindle, on the Kindle app on your computer, on the Kindle app for your phone, and it syncs in your purchases, places in a book and notes online… forever. Also there are literally thousands of classic literature and other out of license books that are available for download for free. Because of buying the Kindle, I’ve read these books:

1. “The Beginners Guide to Walking the Buddha’s Eightfold Path” – Jean Smith
2. “A Guide to the Bodhisattva Way” – Santideva
3. “The Art of Happiness” – His Holiness the Dalai Lama
4. “Pragmaticism” – William James
5. “The Problems of Philosophy” – Bertrand Russell
6. “An Inquiry into the Nature and Causes of the Wealth of Nations” – Adam Smith
7. “Concerning Christian Liberty” – Martin Luther
8. “Summa Theologica” – Saint Thomas Aquinas
9. “Poetics” – Aristotle
10. “The Prince” – Niccolo Machiavelli (re-read from years ago)
11. “A Brave New World” – Aldous Huxley (re-read from years ago)
12. “Fundamental Principles of the Metaphysic of Morals” – Immanuel Kant
13. “The Republic” – Plato (re-read from years ago)
14. “The Art of War” – Sun Tzu (re-read from years ago)
15. “The Dharma Bums” – Jack Kerouac
16. “Mediations” – Marcus Aurelius
17. “Henry V” – William Shakespeare (re-read from years ago)
18. “A Midsummer Night’s Dream” – William Shakespeare (re-read from years ago)
19. “White Fang” – Jack London
20. “The Picture of Dorian Gray” – Oscar Wilde
21. “Uncle Tom’s Cabin” – Harriet Beecher Stowe
22. “Frankenstein” – Mary Shelley (re-read from years ago)
23. “Leviathan” – Thomas Hobbes
24. “Dracula” – Bram Stoker
25. “The Time Machine” – H.G. Wells
26. “The War of the Worlds” – H.G. Wells
27. “Diary of a Very Bad Year” – Keith Gessen

• Oh yeah, I bought a house. When I turned 30 I decided that I was, at that moment, wholly and eternally done with renting. The idea of having people I didn’t know living on the other side of the wall from me was no longer appealing. And so I went to LendingTree.com and applied for a loan. The next day I spoke to a mortgage broker. The day after that I spoke to a real estate agent and an attorney. Two weeks later I took a week off from work and went on a marathon of house hunting with the realtor, seeing around 30 houses in a week. At the end of the week I had found a house and wanted to put an offer in on it. Before I did, the realtor wanted to show me one more house that she had just seen that day and after I saw it I knew it was the right house. Almost exactly 60 days later I closed, 5 days before Christmas. Its taking me a bit of time for the prospect of owning a house to sink in. I own real property… this is the concept that this country was founded on… at last I understand this concept of the American dream. Today as I looked out at the expanse of driveway that I now own and am responsible for, and heard the weather forecast for snow, I went out to Lowes without hesitation and bought a snow thrower. For the first time in my life I have outdoor power equipment. That’s home-ownership for you.

• I rediscovered the philosophies of the far east and probably for the first time really begin to understand them, most notably Buddhism. I make no secret of my sympathies for the Tibetan people and their culture, and of the admiration I have for the personification of their beliefs, His Holiness the Dalai Lama. What I find most remarkable about him and his faith is that it has enabled him to maintain his immensely positive attitude despite decades of exile from his homeland. But Buddhism itself has brought to the table, for me, a whole different way of thinking about our lives, how we are all connected in an expressly tangible way. All livings things are joined in a common desire in life to be happy. The unhappy truth about life though is that life is suffering. One day everyone will get sick, will grow old and will die. Fact. There’s nothing wrong with that but by not coming to terms with that truth, that all things are impermanent, is what causes our suffering. Its far easier to appreciate the beauty and utility of a glass when you understand that the glass is already broken and that the best you can do is use the glass and appreciate it while there is still time to do so. The goal of the individual is the cessation of suffering in oneself. The goal of the Bodhisattva is the cessation of suffering in others, for the benefit of all beings. “For as long as space endures, and for as long as living beings remain. Until then may I too abide to dispel the misery of the world” – Santideva

Those, in a nutshell, were the highlights of 2010. What does 2011 hold? I couldn’t even begin to speculate, but I intend to make good on my goals to travel to the national parks this summer, even if I have to do it by myself. I also will work on my house and build it into the sanctuary for my sanity (and soul) that I want it to be, as well as a place to create some great memories with all of those I care about. Lastly my major project for 2011 is my health. No matter which way I look at it I can’t fully enjoy my life and be the greatest benefit to those around me until I improve my physical self. I’ve spent the last 30 years improving my mind, its time to spend a little effort on my body.

As for the new year, I greet it with open arms from the comfort of my new home and with the company of my good friends. Here’s to hoping that all of you do as well… Cheers!

Home at the Ranch

Here I am… I’m in my house. I closed on December 20th and after grabbing a few necessities from storage (my parents’ house) I stayed there the very first night. The closing itself took almost 2 hours, thanks to the bank attorney running late and a large number of extra forms needing to be signed, because although my house is a very nice (but modest) house on a quiet cul de sac surrounded by friendly neighbors, it qualified for a HUD loan, which I took full advantage of. And so after my first two trips to Home Depot to get new locks, then return the first ones and buy the correct ones, I went to bed exhausted and happy in my new home.

Day 3 here and I’m still having a hard time adjusting to it all. First off, I’m not sure that it has fully sank in that I own a house, or that by signing my name a few times I spent over 200-large in the span of a couple minutes. But I do have a house, and as I’ve always wanted since the day I moved out of my parents house 10 years ago, I don’t have neighbors on the other side of the wall. Its quiet here… very quiet. I both like it and find it completely unnerving.

My first adventure was last night, just as I was settling down to bed when I heard the sound of water running in the basement. This alarmed me because earlier I had turned up the heat on the hot water heater. The previous owners had small children and hence kept the water temperature low. But now with the sound of water rushing out into the drainage sink in the laundry room/utility room and not knowing any better, I thought that something had burst. When I went down there to check it out, the water softener was slowly draining into the drainage sink. Then there was a series of “clicks” and “whirrs” from the thing and it started filling with water again. I looked at the display and saw that words “recharging now” blinking. Apparently it does this from time to time, cycling the water through to keep it fresh. Then, something dawned on me…

I have a water softener.

Seriously? That’s something we didn’t even have at my parents house when I was growing up. I have more too… I have 3 bedrooms, a ceramic tiled bathroom with a cast iron tub and a heat lamp, I have hardwood floors in every room of the house, I have a kitchen with over a dozen cabinets, I have a brand new energy efficient washer and dryer, I have central air, I have an attached garage UNDERNEATH my house, and I have a full unutilized basement that is begging to be turned into some living space. A month ago, I was living in a small apartment where half of the plumbing didn’t work, I had to share a 20 year old washer and dryer with the transients that lived in the other units, and I could never get a parking spot in front of my building to save my life.

I feel like the god-damn Jefferson’s!

When I moved out of my apartment I trashed basically everything I owned that I wouldn’t immediately need. In fact I just have my desk, my bed, and some boxes at my parent’s house to move, which will be done before Christmas. Then I have a week off next week to paint, purchase and furnish the home, hopefully to make it my own. I’ll get some pictures together once I get everything set up. I want to get it done as soon as possible, probably starting on the day after Christmas, just so I can maybe get this place feeling something less like a novelty and more like my home.

A Realization of Failure

“@jeremylyons I cannot believe you gave up blogging AGAIN!!!!”

That’s what my friend and fellow blogger Nicole shot me on twitter when I made that last post on this blog.
When I made that post, I felt that I had failed at keeping task with the fundamental reason I had for starting it in the first place, that I would chronicle on the web my endeavors in living a better life, being the best human being possible and living to my full potential.

Looking back however, I really only used it as a place to write vaguely and whimsically about loose topics and complain about how things weren’t going right for me with buying my house.
What I had failed to do, was execute on my original idea.

And an idea was all that it was. Ideas are not actionable things, they are conceptualized end-products. Plans are actionable, and when I went into starting the blog I had no plan for how I was actually going to do it, what I was going to write about and how it would be of any value to anyone, particularly to myself. It became precisely what I had hoped from the beginning to avoid… a diary.

This blog is not going to die because of my own incompetence and lack of follow-through. The point of it was to hold myself accountable on building a better life for myself and for those around me and it will be exactly that. I will work on this blog for expressly that reason. No excuses.

That being said, project (and priority) #1 is my health. Its something that I’ve been putting off for too long and something of paramount importance. At this point for me, improving my health and fitness isn’t even about vanity of physical appearance, its about the fact that I am unhealthy… that I’m at risk for a large number of weight related, long term health issues like heart disease, diabetes and cancer… and that I have become less active and mobile over the years since the last real time I was in good physical condition at the end of high school. I’ve done a lot of damage to my body from not eating right, drinking and partying too much and its taken its toll.

I can fix it though, this much I know. Others have done it… you see them all over television, the internet and in print, and I believe I can do it too. And why not? I’ve built my career thus far on fixing complex information systems, so surely I can fix my own body’s health and mind’s self-destructive tendencies, right?

And even in the off chance that I can’t, I have to at least try… I don’t have much of a choice otherwise.

(P.S. – The closing on my house is Monday (12/20). One less distraction on the road!)

This isn’t working.

This blog isn’t working out. I’m not doing what I said I was going to do and documenting my steps on living a better life. The blog isn’t what I wanted it to be, and that’s entirely my fault. I’m moving on… thanks for the reads folks!